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Brewers Space Guild launches today, pick up some merch

April 1, 2021April Fools

In a quest to reach out to untapped beer markets, breweries and brewers guilds are rocketing heavenward, going boldly where no beer has been brewed before … outer space. The Ohio Craft Brewers Association (OCBA) is one of many brewing trade orgs joining the Brewers Space Guild, banding together with brewers guilds across the country to create a brewery-friendly business environment, even in the vacuum of space.

Space breweries will have to contend with new issues such as the lack of CO2, zero gravity and wet burps, but they’ll also find infinite opportunity to brew, sell and self-distribute products to the furthest reaches of the universe. Breweries in space won’t be bound by antiquated alcohol laws written before the rise of craft breweries on Earth; the only restraint they’ll have is the safety tether that keeps them from floating away while spacewalking deliveries to their customers.

“Breweries need a real force in space to look out for their interests,” said OCBA executive director Mary MacDonald. “On Earth, it seems like you have to wait for planets to align to make positive changes to alcohol law. Up here, we can move at warp speed.”

Since joining their counterparts in space, the OCBA staff now works as a part of a collective mission to develop, strengthen and educate guild professionals and staff back on Earth. The new membership-based 501(c)3 organization, The Association of Brewers Guild Professionals (ABGP), will create opportunities for its members to network, learn and share knowledge with one another.

The ABGP is using this April Fools’ day campaign to build awareness and sell hats and T-shirts to fund the creation of their new organization. Pre-orders are being taken at BrewersSpaceGuild.com. The launch project is sponsored by Brewers Supply Group, a craft brewery supplier of malts and hops. Brewers Space Guild and Brewers Supply Group share the same initials, sense of humor and spirit when it comes to community and industry outreach.

Brewers guilds stand at the front lines of a powerful and organized movement to successfully implement, protect and maintain craft beer-friendly laws and regulations at the state and federal levels, accomplishing all of this with small teams of typically one to two people. Guild employees must become experts in a complex and heavily regulated industry while simultaneously driving traffic and tourism to their state’s breweries. They also plan and execute major public events like beer festivals, state beer weeks and educational conferences. The ABGP aims to pool together the collective expertise of the nation’s executive directors and professional staff to benefit the greater whole.

“We’re here to protect the hopes and dreams of the galaxy’s small business owners and ensure that all guild leaders have the tools and resources they need to be successful,” said MacDonald. “But let me tell you, if you thought astronauts liked Tang, just wait until they try this nebulously hazy IPA with Galaxy and Comet hops locally-sourced from the sun-facing side of our newly-terraformed moon. It’s out of this world!”

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