Anheuser-Busch mission to Mars update: Sending barley into space because it can

In case you still weren’t convinced that we are all doomed, the final thing that we are all inspired by — space exploration — is now just another thing to be corporately branded. Did you know that Budweiser has a commitment to be the first beer on Mars? Apparently this is true, according to a press release the corporate beer giant has issued.

One small step for bland, one giant leap for bland kind. 

Hey, you can never be too early to monopolize new distribution markets. Luckily, this plucky intergalactic upstart is getting some assistance from some powerful places. First, the International Space Station is teaming with Budweiser researchers to send and study barley in space in early December. The reason? Here’s what it says in the press release. Prepare barf bags now.

Earlier this year at the South by Southwest conference, Budweiser announced its goal to be the first beer on Mars – offering a colonized red planet the same enjoyments provided here on earth, including fresh beer! And while socializing on Mars might be in the near-distant future, Budweiser is taking steps now to better understand how its ingredients react in microgravity environments so that when we get to Mars, Budweiser will be there.

To infinity and be-*yawn*

Budweiser’s barley will stay in orbit for approximately one month before coming down to be analyzed. One of the experiments will focus on barley seed exposure with the second testing barley germination. Phony marketing missions aside, researchers think they could gain insight on how barley is produced here on earth.

So there you have it. Space is ruined. But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe while they are sending their beers light years away, craft brewers can continue to stay focused on local beer drinking needs and build the communities in which they brew.