No big surprises here. Lagunitas Brewing sells the rest of its company to the second biggest beer roll-up in the world, and Founder Tony Magee writes an exhausting blog explaining its merits. In that post (and I’m summarizing here), Magee explains in over 1,900+ words that he basically wants his beer brand to have an opportunity in every bar, fridge and community around the world. Now does that sound more noble or nefarious to you? From Lagunitas’ Tumblr page:
The revolution in brewing and in beer culture that began at 1705 Mariposa Street in San Francisco has metastasized to every corner of the world. Time is passing and recently a friend of mine sent me a picture of a tap handle that he saw while visiting CapeTown. The beer beneath the handle was called “Californication IPA”. Surely a compliment to the roots of things but, dammit, I wanna pour mine there next to it! Right? Not to crowd it out, just to be there to celebrate it and to participate. So it was time to get moving. I had a partner that would help me but the limits that we intentionally built into the Joint Venture partnership were becoming obstacles to progress with a now-trusted partner who wanted to give us the latitude to pursue these global opportunities.
No. Not to crowd it out. Never! [Cue Cobra Commander laugh.] But, yeah, metastasized is maybe the perfect Freudian slip here (via Dictionary.com):
Verb (used without object), metastasized, metastasizing.
- Pathology. (of malignant cells or disease-producing organisms) to spread to other parts of the body by way of the blood or lymphatic vessels or membranous surfaces.
- to spread injuriously: Street gangs have metastasized in our city.
- to transform, especially into a dangerous form: The KGB metastasized after the fall of the Soviet Union. Truth metastasized into lurid fantasy.
Anyway, Magee will take on a newly created role as global craft director for Heineken — where he will surely still have the time to dabble in heavy-handed metaphors like so:
Some who don’t fully understand it all may say it is selling out. Truth is that we did then, and are now ‘buying in’… Money has value and equity has value too. I am using Lagunitas’ equity to buy deeper into an organization that will help us go farther more quickly than we could have on our own. You hafta imagine Jonah standing on the gunnel of the storm-tossed ship and intentionally leaping into the mouth of the whale to embrace the transformation and emerge to become his own destiny.
Read the whole post here, or better yet, don’t.
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