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Porn site xHamster launches beer, so here’s some completely SFW brewing pornog

November 30, 2016Keith Gribbins

Pure brewing porn. pic.twitter.com/IE984TGPCU

— Simply Hops (@SimplyHops) October 24, 2016

If you like watching naked people (or at least furries), you probably already know about xHamster. It’s one of the internet’s most popular tube pornography sites. This same Limassol, Cyprus-based sex peddler has recently gotten into brewing and now has even decided to start making a commerical beer. What goes best with a good wank? Celebrating with a proper beverage. From the press release:

One day a beer-addict project manager at xHamster decided that the company should create a new SFW product that will be loved and needed by everyone…

“Now is time to enjoy a quality beer with your best source for adult entertainment,” says Alex Hawkins, a spokesman for xHamster. “When being among the leading adult market players worldwide, giving back to the dedicated fans is our number one priority. After so much demand on the xHamster beer, we decided it is only fair if we make it available for everyone. xHamster beer is a delicious mix of malts and spices that you can relax with.”

The hunt started to find the best manufacturer around the globe, and we landed one in Italy. The team went through a whole selection process to find the best suitable flavor (including the good times of tasting beer samples. Oh, those were the days!) Five different malt varieties, two hop varieties, organic honey, and the finest spices and yeast flow into the beer. Very full-bodied, slightly sweet and yet spicy, this beer is meant to fill your mouth and guarantee the satisfaction.

The beer is an 8.5 percent Belgium Tripel, and we’re not even sure where or when it will be distributed, but you can find it online right here. The beer was first promoted back in February. But in honor of beer and porno colliding in the most awkward way since vagina beer, we decided to sex you up with some hot and hard brewing pornog — steely tanks, juicy brews, buckets of hops and everything in between. Enjoy our big brewhouse orgy.

First of two dry hop additions recirculating in Snow Globe IPA tonight @KegCreekBrewing… you can hear them going thru the pump. pic.twitter.com/5Lfdiv0Em3

— Eric Sørensen (@thekettleslayer) November 28, 2016

Five more @SpecMec tanks in the house! pic.twitter.com/9s9JyHy46s

— Torque Brewing (@torquebrewing) November 28, 2016

What a view! Greg just filled this foudre with 800 gallons or so of Golden Brett. See you in about 6 months. pic.twitter.com/oVCGOKJ2jg

— Allagash Brewing Co (@AllagashBrewing) November 28, 2016

Sorry but we’ll be closed tomorrow, Tues Nov 29th, to get these #monsters in place! Check them out this weekend! #lifetakescraft pic.twitter.com/lOlZaxJtT2

— Bench Creek Brewing (@benchcreekbrew) November 28, 2016

1st Hobo Series brewed today. Look at the hop variety going into this batch! This limited series will be 15 bbls only #onceitsgoneitsgone! pic.twitter.com/7MKHpUNG5J

— Four Day Ray Brewing (@fourdayray) November 15, 2016

Our new centrifuge has arrived! pic.twitter.com/UAlgouMDJw

— Yellowhammer Brewing (@YellowhammerAle) November 26, 2016

O-H!!! #ohiocraftbeer #GoBucks #beatmichigan #treetapper #northhighbrew #craftcans #nicecans #drinkupcolumbus pic.twitter.com/8hYcA0gAMc

— North High Brewing (@northhighbrew) November 21, 2016

Now there’s a happy brewer 🙂 #brewerylife #handcrafted #stayingoutoftherain pic.twitter.com/7NvFPwxQc5

— Hook Norton Brewery (@HookyBrewery) November 21, 2016

#BehindTheScenes #BreweryLife #BrewerMikey harvesting fresh #CentennialHops from the beer garden for an upcoming wet hopped brew. pic.twitter.com/eqcFg9Vj49

— Triton Brewing Co. (@TritonBrewing) October 18, 2016

Picked up some more barrels today. Yes, this “barrel program” is really going to be a thing, as long as we can find a place to put them all. pic.twitter.com/xpCuxJzPs6

— Rainhard Brewing Co. (@RainhardBrewing) November 16, 2016

Variti pivo može biti bučno!! #porec #istria #loveistria #brewing #noise #earplugs pic.twitter.com/wsJdJBpRvN

— Bura Brew (@burabrew) November 21, 2016

Last weekend was a great day of brewing! Took the lauter tun to the limit! #troubledwaters #DIPA pic.twitter.com/T9y4Ip04q1

— Bench Creek Brewing (@benchcreekbrew) November 15, 2016

‘Tis the season to spontaneously ferment beer. Here’s part two of our Coolship blog. Read it here: https://t.co/Ua60gXly5O pic.twitter.com/qlt4ouMkEd

— Allagash Brewing Co (@AllagashBrewing) November 28, 2016

Empty vessels full of promise for you. Visit any of our 3 @VictoryBeer locations on 11/23 for Java Cask they yielded pic.twitter.com/WGSDHBy82H

— Bill Covaleski (@Victory_Bill) November 16, 2016

That’s 60 BBL’s of #BurgBeer rockin’ & rollin’ this morning! https://t.co/KpbObB1IkW

— Virginia Beer Co. (@VirginiaBeerCo) October 27, 2016

Waiting to be filled with happiness. #craftbeer #lvbrewersguild pic.twitter.com/l1KcILy5Sx

— Funk Brewing Co (@FunkBrewing) November 15, 2016

Canning up some blood of #cthulhu. Get ready for it this #Halloween! ? @sawdustcitybeer pic.twitter.com/B6DQpWHW9i

— Brendan Woods (@braetones) October 18, 2016

Just wrapping some presents…

First Pour of Christmas Ale is happening at 11:15AM today! Come celebrate!#ChristmasAleSpirit #CLE pic.twitter.com/xdKuuSRBcC

— GreatLakesBrewingCo. (@GLBC_Cleveland) October 27, 2016

Our new @KronesAG packaging line in action! pic.twitter.com/fCrdXiUKkU

— Wellington Brewery (@WellingtonBrew) November 14, 2016

what do I do with a day off?? #brewingbeer (no surprise) @215_760 @CrazyKegs pic.twitter.com/fSltfnGRV8

— jack wagenseller (@jwags48_jack) November 14, 2016

LIVE on #Periscope: The @PizzaBoybrewing truck is here! https://t.co/vNdsoCfiPC

— Shane Lohman (@ShaneLohman) November 7, 2016

Our 1st rye malt is alive & well, germinating nicely, and behaving. Rye can be a malting problem child. pic.twitter.com/Ay7hu6XdjZ

— Horton Ridge Malt (@HortonRidge) October 31, 2016

El Dorado 2016 Pellets are here! @eldoradohops is bursting w/ tropical fruit, stone fruits, & melon. https://t.co/uIIsYc6Jck#BrewSomething pic.twitter.com/SDU1wnmPsG

— Yakima Valley Hops (@YakimaHops) November 8, 2016

Good work berries. This year’s batch of Pick Your Own is tasting mighty nice:) #insideallagash #pickyourown pic.twitter.com/FmuuzDnbky

— Allagash Brewing Co (@AllagashBrewing) November 15, 2016

Really excited about the King Chestnut American Brown Ale #craftbeer release by @TNBrewWorks! pic.twitter.com/poyT4Eixj2

— Clarksville Carboys (@CCBHomebrewing) November 10, 2016

Our coworkers call these Hans and Franz for their lifting power! We couldnt work without them as great craft beer takes some heavy lifting! pic.twitter.com/88HC8yJhiD

— All or Nothing BH (@AllorNothingBH) October 28, 2016

There’s BEER in dem barrels! (Imperial stout & baltic porter, to be exact). Releasing in bottles & draft tomorrow: https://t.co/bmOS2mWCw5 pic.twitter.com/mckSwtYVDU

— Four String Brewing (@fourstringbrew) November 11, 2016

Happy 2nd Anniversary to us!
Thank you to all of our clients!#ctbeer #craftbeer pic.twitter.com/VzZ304T5Ky

— Hops & Branding (@hopsandbranding) November 10, 2016

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. GreatBeerNow says

    November 30, 2016 at 9:38 pm

    Porn site xHamster launches beer company, we share sexy brewing porn https://t.co/WzBFG8OcMk

    Log in to Reply
  2. beernerds says

    November 30, 2016 at 4:00 pm

    RT @beermonkey: More 100% real, but 100% unbelievable news: Porn Site launches beer

    https://t.co/hniufahGUl

    Log in to Reply
  3. beermonkey says

    November 30, 2016 at 3:44 pm

    More 100% real, but 100% unbelievable news: Porn Site launches beer

    https://t.co/hniufahGUl

    Log in to Reply
  4. DroosBroos says

    November 30, 2016 at 3:10 pm

    Welp, its official….I have now seen everything thanks to @CraftBrewingBiz and @xhamstercom #craftbeer https://t.co/nZZh281Z6C

    Log in to Reply
  5. magsthemaven says

    November 30, 2016 at 1:28 pm

    RT @the_dailybeer: It seems everyone is getting in on the #craftbeer game! https://t.co/t9LAlkyIPA

    Log in to Reply
  6. PipinoilBrewer says

    November 30, 2016 at 11:58 am

    Mmmm brew porn! https://t.co/pJ0rBo2fkd

    Log in to Reply
  7. BreweryLoans says

    November 30, 2016 at 11:47 am

    #CraftBeer #LocalBrewery #DrinkLocal #Brewery #craftbeerporn Porn site xHamster launches beer, so here’s some c… https://t.co/4wBF68LcVF

    Log in to Reply
  8. wryan1618 says

    November 30, 2016 at 11:36 am

    Porn site xHamster launches beer company, we share sexy brewing porn https://t.co/gIb8FHsZf9

    Log in to Reply
  9. pghkev says

    November 30, 2016 at 11:19 am

    RT @CraftBrewingBiz: Porn site @xhamstercom launches beer company, so we kindly decide to share sexy brewing pornog https://t.co/VVovbZm9xt

    Log in to Reply
  10. crsimp01 says

    November 30, 2016 at 10:50 am

    Porn site xHamster launches beer company, we share sexy brewing porn https://t.co/9bzxVxOZqq via @craftbrewingbiz

    Log in to Reply
  11. the_dailybeer says

    November 30, 2016 at 10:35 am

    It seems everyone is getting in on the #craftbeer game! https://t.co/t9LAlkyIPA

    Log in to Reply
  12. carlu_fra says

    November 30, 2016 at 10:35 am

    Porn site xHamster launches beer, so here’s some completely SFW brewing pornog https://t.co/gVpiWzFG8b #beer #craftbeer

    Log in to Reply

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